Meridian Coaching & Consulting Blog

Anger is fuel—you can feel it and want to do SOMETHING!  But often, it is not acceptable, polite or appropriate to demonstrate that anger, so you do everything to avoid it: stuff it, ignore it, bury it, hide it, etc.  When you can’t avoid it any longer, you act on it and live to regret it.  You may do everything—but listen to it.

Anger is meant to be listened to and acted upon—not acted out.  It demonstrates your boundaries.  Anger tells you that what worked or was acceptable in the past, is no longer tolerable.  However, if you do not deal with the issues or transgressions when they are small, the situations will continue to appear.  As a result, your emotions of irritation and frustration escalate to anger, which begins to fester.  When anger isn’t dealt with productively, it can render the nicest person bitter, resentful and vindictive; emotions which are corrosive to you and others.

It doesn’t have to be this way.  Anger is a tool—not a master.  LISTEN and DECIDE how you want to use it.  Anger is not an action itself—it lets you know when you need to act in your own best interests.  Anger does not choose you—you choose it; therefore, use it to your advantage.

Dealing effectively with your anger means having productive mindsets—an inner game that enable you positively meet, what life throws your way.

• You get angry because you choose to, not because someone made you angry.
• Let it motivate you to reflect and see the best course of action to take.
• Talk it through with a trusted advisor to help you understand the root cause.
• Release the stress of anger through some form of exercise, breathing, meditation or venting in a safe place.
• Reflect and use your insight to stop or shift anger from being triggered.
• Remember, it’s a gift that reminds you that your boundaries have been violated in some way; enabling you to respond in an appropriate way to take care of yourself.

When all else fails, take a note from the page of the musician, Duke Ellington, “I merely took the energy it takes to pout and wrote some blues.” Use the energy of anger to create what serves you, not what depletes you and others.

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