Leadership Coaching: Moving Sideways in Order to Move Forward
Author: Angela Gonzalez
Recently, I had a leadership coaching client that was concerned because her tried and true method for moving forward in a difficult situation just wasn’t working any longer. During our conversation, I remembered a line from a Jimmy Buffett song, “He Went to Paris” that sumed up the man’s ability to see his life with some perspective, “Some of it’s magic, some of it’s tragic, but I had a good life all the way.” However, when you’re in the middle of experiencing extreme disappointment, disillusionment or discontent, it can be hard to shift from that place and move forward, and other people notice as well.
You’ve all probably had a friend, family member or colleague who said, “Are you sure you’ve obsessed about this enough?” Maybe they said it with concern or with sarcasm; either way, they wish you could move on. In leadership coaching, I often help clients with this type of situation. It’s not easy to get off the hamster wheel when it’s spinning, especially when your brain experiences instant gratification from that dopamine hit when you focus exclusively on what you’re not getting or on how bad you’re feeling. While it can be satisfying in that moment, it fades almost immediately, putting you back to square one with no relief in sight.
To move forward, sometimes you have to shift sideways. For some folks, it starts with extending empathy and compassion to yourself by asking, “Does this bring me joy or happiness; am I ready to receive joy or fulfillment?” For others, it’s to ask, “Does this thought, feeling or conversation bring me insight, progress or growth?”
Each of us has something we “cling to” that does not bring joy, confidence or growth into our lives. However, when you can see with new eyes, it enables you to move forward in your life.
Very nice. I’ve just taken a break in a difficult mediation and am going to take inspiration drawn from your post back in with me. Thanks.