Meridian Coaching & Consulting Blog

There are two ways to build confidence: the first is to fake it until you make it the second is to foster it from within.  We have all had to fake it at one time or another, like giving a presentation when you had neither the skills nor adequate time to prepare.  More than likely, it became a tactical exercise to complete – to suffer through.  If it went well, your confidence may have increased; if it tanked, what confidence you had disappeared.  To make matters worse, a lack of confidence in one area tends to leak into another.

There is Another Way to Develop Confidence.  Fostering confidence in yourself can be a transformative experience, instead of an experience to endure.  I’m talking about real confidence, where how you think and feel on the inside, shows on the outside in a positive way.  There are three things you can start doing today to create and sustain a vital inner confidence:

• Articulate Who You Are – Uncover and become familiar with your strengths, gifts, biases and blind spots, and learn to appreciate what you find out about yourself.  This brings clarity to what you are thinking and feeling in the moment.  It gives you the opportunity to be more proactive and show up in the way you wish to, which increases your influence and credibility. 
• Be Fair – Value fairness; mistakes happen and you shouldn’t fear them.  If it really was a mistake, then you can learn to say, “that’s not like me” instead of beating yourself up.  Cultivate an attitude of lessons learned and staying connected to yourself and others by learning to say, “I was wrong, I’m sorry and “Thank you.”  You must mean the words that you say (to yourself and others); when that happens, the results are magical.
• Who Must You Be to Achieve What You Want? – Answering this question helps you see the situation from the inside out – from your perspective – from your wants and needs.  When you have the answer, prepare yourself by asking, “What is the feeling, thought or action that I need to follow – to learn and grow?”  Considering this question gets you ready for the next thing, even if you’re not ready now.  It plants the seed for confidence and self-efficacy, and when the opportunity presents itself, you will be ready to move forward. 

When confidence blossoms, you feel comfortable in your own skin and you can be in the world with ease because you’ve learned to be present in the moment.  Developing inner confidence is one of life’s bargains – it is not bestowed by others – but found within.