Meridian Coaching & Consulting Blog

One of my clients from the executive leadership coaching program was feeling a bit bruised after receiving his annual performance appraisal.  He had heard the message last year, “act with true confidence” but his boss added more detail this time, “You need to dial down the arrogance.”  My client had heard this before, but had a tendency to ignore the message or kill the messenger—until he heard it from his boss—again. 

This was a tough message for my client, because he had a mindset that the means justifies the ends—if he was getting results—he had license to behave with impunity.  Yes, he got the job done, but it also resulted in very poor business relationships, which were starting to negatively affect the business results: missed deadlines, malicious compliance, low quality work, poor staff performance, turnover, and other negative responses to his behavior.  During our coaching sessions, he also mentioned that perhaps there was fallout from “arrogant” behavior in his personal life as well.  After much data collection, discussion and reflection, he realized that he could lose a promising career and the people he loves if he didn’t learn to “act with true confidence.” He was finally ready to examine his belief systems and corresponding behaviors to make some needed changes.

We all have some trait or behavior that doesn’t serve us other others; sometimes it takes a metaphorical slap upside the head to hear a message that will eventually be a lifeline.  The essential thing is to take action with a “fearless Inventory” of your strengths, special talents, biases and assumptions.  Being confident means embracing and feeling comfortable with what you find out about yourself.  It means you can articulate your strengths and know how you add value, AND you’re willing to drop or adopt new mindsets or flex your behavior in situationally appropriate ways.  This demonstrates true confidence, the opposite of arrogance.

It’s never too late to begin the journey of self-discovery and transformation, and that path does not have to be walked alone.  When you look for a partner on this journey (mentor, coach or trusted advisor), seek one that has your best interests at heart, is non-judgmental and listens with an open mind.  Happy trails.